It's been awhile since I have done one of these. I have been meaning to do one sooner but I feel like I am running around lately with my under roo's on fire! *yelp* lol :) School is going good. It takes up most of my time. I am taking Math, Composition, Nutrition and Anatomy and Physiology this semester and I am determined to kick their hind end instead of them kicking mine…..I will let you guess who is winning right now. I think I have had a collective of 16 hours of sleep this week. lol :) I have started doing quite a bit of photography and LOVE it. I am learning SO much. I am getting involved in the childrens ministry in the church and am excited. I work a lot, when I am not at work, I am at school, when I am not at school I am at work, at least that's what it feels like, lol. So it's been about a year and a couple months that I have been down here in the arm pit of America. lol Seriously, it's not THAT bad anymore, in fact I have come to love some th ings about Houston. About this time last year I did a reflection e-mail, about various lessons I had learned in that year and such. Well this year has been quite the journey so I figured I would do it again Sam! :)
I wrote this the other day: I am not usually one to write about my relationship with God. Maybe I should write on this topic more, but, I usually save it for my private, daily, journal entries. I don't tend to be of a really serious nature or to be vulnerable often, but I can't help as I sit here at school, in the open lab doing homework for my nutrition class to open a new document and write about what I am feeling right now. I doubt many will even read this but if you do this is my epiphany. I have my mp3 player on and the song "I bowed on my knees" is playing. The power and presence of God is so near and upon me it's unreal. I am so humbled he is with me wherever I am. I am so proud to call him my abba father, my very best friend and my God, the ruler of my life. I want to bow on my knees right now and cry holy. I want to clap my hands and sing glory to the son of God. I want to see the gates of the city of heaven and see my loved ones and friends there. I want to see t he angels, Abraham, Jacob, Isaac. I want to talk to David and see really how alike our hearts are. I want to most of all see Jesus. JESUS!!!!! I want to bow on my knees and I can't even imagine or begin to say what I will feel or what I think I would feel even writing this. HE IS SO GOOD! He is doing so many things in my life right now. There is not enough praise to be given, not enough time to give it and not a way to praise him to show him how I truly feel. I feel so limited with mere words to express myself. I love him…….I really really really LOVE him. I am so IN love with him. I want to show this to him and live my life showing it. I know I am not perfect, but he never said he looked for perfection, just someone to be his hands, feet and voice. I want to be that. He died for ME…..wow. Thank you Jesus. Thank you from the very soul of my being, the very core of who and what I am for all you do for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it's not much and not even half of what I am feeling or thinking but I just wanted to take a moment to say he is so very special to me.
* I've learned there is a lot of vulnerability in life, love and with God. Trust is a vulnerable thing, and it's almost if not as delicate as life.
* I have learned that life is like a country song. My life and I are like a country song. If I could write a song that would describe me and my life it would have things like this in it (some of these are actually lines from songs): Show me a woman or a man who's got a plan and I will show you god is laughin' out his window. You must admit, you can't predict the way the pieces fit. Life is as uncertain as the wind blows. Lately I've been thinkin, which could be a dangerous thing. I'd take a one way ticket on a west bound plane wearing shades, ten bucks in my pocket and when I landed I would be able to do what I want to do, go where I want to go, be with who I wanted to be with. I'd sit in the sand, kick my shoes off and lay on a blanket, I'd look at the stars in the sky and wonder where the people in the airplanes are going. I'd watch the sun set, and then it rise. Looking across the sea knowing that I am loved, I'd wonder why certain people don't love me anymore and what causes love to change. Why is it that I give up on love but my heart still believes it will find it?
* I've learned there is nothing better in this life than God, family, true friends, music, hair spray, caffeine, baseball (GO CARDS!), and the feeling of summer.
* I've learned It's not what people can do for you but what you can do for each other. I went and fed the homeless for the first time. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt there is no feeling like it and I don't think I could put it into words if I wanted. The sight of them running, pushing and yelling as they rush at you knowing what you are there with. You are literally handing them a piece of their survival, life, and nourishment. It's the epitome of the definition of ministry. The stories some of them told me are forever burned into my memory along with a prayer for them.
* I've learned I know what love is and still the lessons of it are hard to learn. It hands out hard kicks and lessons you will never understand. Yet you don't have love till you have the kind you can give away, even with risks of getting hurt.
*I've learned that life is like flying down some back road at midnight with your eyes closed and the headlights off.
*I have learned a personal lesson and interpretation of the verse Hebrews 11:1. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I personally think the saying "Love is bind" should be changed to "Faith is blind" because it is. You have to have the faith even without being able to see it. You have to go on it with a hope, and without evidence that it's there.
*I've learned it's easier to do things you know you can't do when you have no choice and have to do them.
*I've learned the sincere meaning of "There's No Place Like Home" You said it Dorothy, girl you preach it! :)
*I've learned you never stop needing direction in life.
*I've learned that God really is there when you need him THE MOST, and you have absolutely no one or nothing else in your life, and he is the most stable, reliable, and irresistible thing in this life.
*I've learned I miss being cool. lol :) (will I ever grow up?)
These are not even half of my lessons learned, this has been a productive year of journeys and it's not even over! I love each and everyone of you, if I don't then I sent this to you on accident. Just joking! :) lol Thank you for loving me and allowing me to be transparent. I hope to see everyone at home for Mantle. I don't want to make this too long but I thought I would drop a line. Write me soon!
Love, Elizabeth
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